Simple Men Don't Always Lead Simple Lives
by BronBoop
Summary: What does the future hold for Sakata Gintoki? We all know that he wants to die surrounded by a loving family and a bunch of grandkids, but how does he actually get there? Post-series setting.


AN: to every person who left a review, added my fics to their list of favorites, or even simply read any of my fics, thank you from the bottom of my heart!

This one's a Gintoki POV fic. I hope you all enjoy.

Simple Men Don't Always Live Simple Lives

I've never had any desire for fame. I always thought I'd be a simple enough man who would get through life on the path of least resistance. Give me my strawberry milk and JUMP manga, and I'll be out of your way, happy as a clam.

But after fighting in the war, fate landed me in the oddest of places. My adventures with the Yorozuya got me into a ton of adventures and mishaps, all for the sake of being able to pay Otose-san for rent. All for the sake of leading a more normal, laid-back life. Some were fun and pretty straightforward missions; finding a missing person, retreiving an old family heirloom, maybe retrieving corpses for grieving old widows.

But other missions left its mark on my life and Kagura and Shinpachi's as well. These missions got us to cross paths with former enemies and new allies. Some branded our names into the minds of entire villages, and others led us to see our lives in a different light. We were, in our strange little way, famous, and perhaps even notorious to those whose principles don't align with ours.

Amidst these adventures, there came a point where I knew that it was high time I settled down and led a simpler life. A life where I could comfortably live my life with my milk and comics, maybe some TV to watch Ketsuno Ana, some extra cash for the pachinko parlor, and, if time and circumstances allowed, find a woman to spend the rest of my life with as we watched our children grow.

It was an idyllic picture of simplicity... One that's coveted by many a shonen protagonist. But it's not the life I ended up living.

I'm not a complete idiot, though I'm far from being a genius. I've made pretty sound decisions in the past that, at the start, seemed absolutely crazy. But when it became known who I had chosen to become my wife, people gave me mixed reactions of "You two make a good match" and "Are you both masochists?"

The Courtesan of Death wouldn't normally strike people as the type of woman whose hand in marriage men would fight over. In a way, I was glad I was the only one. But despite the fact that I've been told that certain people had the hots for me (hell knows why), I knew that Tsukuyo is the only one I want.

I told her as much when I proposed, and she initially shot me down without batting an eyelash. That's when our odd little courtship began. I was like a puppy who followed her around whenever I could. I was like one of those guys from shojo manga who came up with impractical ways of trying to impress the woman I love.

I'd show up right as she was unleashing her wrath on an abusive customer. I'd have her back whenever she went on dangerous missions. I'd accompany her whenever she went to the surface to buy a new kiseru, special sharpening tools for her kunai, a toaster, what have you. I'd even offer to help her carry her wares back down to Yoshiwara. Disgusting, I know. Just be glad that part was never animated.

Despitr my efforts, she always kept me at arm's length, so there inevitably came a time when I was ready to give up on the whole thing. Besides, who'd want to spend the rest of their lives with a man as aimless and as badly permed as me? I wasn't the most handsome man around. I wasn't rich by any stretch of the imagination. Sure, I could defeat a hoard of evil-doers with a swing of a bokken, but who needs that in times of relative peace?

I mentioned as much to Kagura on one of her routine visits. News must have gotten around to the point where the Shinsengumi knew about my dilemma. And that's when Hijikata suddenly approached me out of the blue. I thought he'd gloat at the fact that I'll end up being a single MADAO (which is bad since the most MADAO MADAO I know is married himself).

But instead, he told me to keep going. He said not many people are lucky enough to be given the chance to show how much they love someone. Knowing his history with Okita's sister, I reluctantly admitted that the mayonnaisse addict had a point.

A few months later, I asked Tsukuyo again. This time, she said no, but not without giving me a reason for her refusal. She had made a vow to forsake her womanhood and be Yoshiwara's protector, thus leaving her with no time to pursue a romantic relationship. This response gave me a clue as to what will finally convince her to change her mind.

I owe Hinowa big time for this. She had managed to convince the higher ranking Hyakka women to go along with my plan to convince Tsukuyo to be with me.

In an event disguised as a birthday party for Hinowa, the Hyakka presented Tsukuyo with a well-laid out plan to delegate some of her duties to the most skilled kunoichi. Along with this were statistics to prove that in the years since Yoshiwara had been freed from Hosen's rule, crime rates in Yoshiwara had dwindled steadily. This was mostly thanks to Tsukuyo's efforts, and the women made sure to emphasize this point.

Lastly, Hinowa came out and said that seeing a fellow courtesan find love was an inspiration for all the other women of the Hyakka. It showed that a woman from Yoshiwara can start a different life - be a wife, a mother, a career woman because they're free. It gave them hope that no matter what their past may be like, it's their present and how they look to the future that ulimately counts.

Tsukuyo was in tears by the end of Hinowa's speech. The two women spoke privately for a bit before Tsukuyo sought me out in the crowd and quietly, in her own tsundere way, agreed to marry me. Finally.

And so, with as much pomp and ceremony befitting Yoshiwara's protector as the Hyakka leader, we were married. I couldn't count just how many strings I had to pull to give Tsukuyo a wedding befitting her rank. But at the end of the day, when she stood before me in the honeymoon suite of a 5-star hotel of her choice, I knew I'd be glad to pull those same strings all over again.

Married life suited us well enough, now with Kagura on a faraway quest to battle intergalactic space villains and Shinpachi on his own quest to become a stronger swordsman. We had the house all to ourselves to do whatever we wanted.

Half the time, I'd be stuck at home cleaning and cooking and doing domestic duties. Sometimes, there would be a job for me, and I'd be glad to take it, even without my two "kids." Tsukuyo, for her part, would go back to Yoshiwara from time to time to check up on the place and on Hinowa and Seita.

But there would be times when my wife (yeah, I genuinely enjoy saying that) and I would just lounge around at home. We'd have little arguments about inconsequential things that sometimes escalate to a barrage of kunai and a noise complaint from Otose-san. But most of the time, I'd just lie down on her lap while reading my JUMP, and she'd be smoking her kiseru while reading a book or sorting through bills. When nighttime comes, she'd cook up some dinner, and after dinner we'd chat about our day and retreat to the bedroom. No further details.

It didn't take long (unsurprisingly) before Tsukuyo found out she was pregnant with our first kid. I was torn between manly pride and genuine fear that I wouldn't make a good father. The only father figure I had was my sensei, but I don't have half the patience or wisdom he had. I don't know anything about raising a child. My one day with that kid that looked exactly like my miniature is proof of that.

Noticing my anxiety, Tsukuyo reassured me that I'd make a great dad, seeing as how I managed to stand in as a father figure for Kagura and Shinpachi, who turned out to be pretty awesome adults. And besides, she added, there's two of us to figure this all out together. That finally got me to relax about this while fatherhood thing. That and the fact that Tama-san, Otose-san, Catherine, and Otae were all too eager to volunteer to help us babysit.

A few months and an ungodly dose of mood swings, weird sukonbu cravings, and hormonal libido surges later, our son was born. Ten fingers, ten toes, big purple eyes, white hair, and a wail that could wake the dead. Yep, that's our son.

The first time I laid eyes on him was when he slept in Tsukuyo's arms after a difficult 12-hour labor. Those 12 hours of seeing Tsukuyo in pain and being able to do nothing were torture for us both. And to the nurses who became targets of her pain-induced wrath.

Once the ordeal was over and done with, I entered her room to check up on her. She was asleep, but my boy was wide awake and absorbing his surroundings. He locked eyes with me and I couldn't hold back my tears. Tsukuyo woke up as I was sniffing like an idiot, and before she could tell me to wipe my snot, I kneeled beside her, took her hand, and thanked her for everything she's ever done for me. Agreeing to share half her flawless genes with mine was a gift that I could never in a million years stop appreciating. She responded by asking if I wanted to hold him. And I did... And the little jackass starts bawling like there's no tomorrow. Well, I guess he gets that from me.

My son's quite a handful. After introducing him to numerous aunts and uncles from various factions, from the Shinsengumi to rebels like Zura, he'd still have enough energy to wail and cry for his mommy to cuddle him. He also has a habit of conveniently soiling his diaper whenever it's my turn to watch over him. But all in all, parenthood, tiring as it may be, was rewarding. Just seeing my kid laugh his silly toothless laugh at the faces I make is enough to make me feel like the luckiest man on earth. Of course, I can't help but add the fact that my goddess of a wife got even sexier with her added curves. This is the exact reason we ended up with another boy less than a year later.

Fast forward a couple of years to the present time, and our family's starting to grow. We have two boys now, and hopefully a little girl on the way. My eldest takes after me in looks, but he's got his mother's sharp aim and temper. My second son's a little more subdued, with his penchant for quiet little games and an uncontrollable sweet tooth. On a regular day, the house is a riot, even more so when Kagura and Shinpachi come over to play with the kids.

Tsukuyo's been telling me that we should probably hold back a bit since she abjectly refuses to refer to her maternity clothes as her regular clothes. What she probably doesn't know is she's the most stunning pregnant woman I've ever seen in my life. But yeah, three kids should be enough for us. It's not like I plan on repopulating the planet with miniature versions of me and Tsukuyo.

Over the years, I've looked back at the times when I was sure I was going to die. It's a morbid little hobby of mine, but doing this reminds me that things do get better, no matter how hopeless things may seem. I could have died had my sensei not found me. I could have been killed in the war or by mercenaries. Zura and I could have performed harakiri when we were sure to be captured. I could have been arrested and executed. I could have died in my many fights with foes like Hosen, Jiraia, Kamui or even Takasugi. I could have died choking on my parfait. But I didn't.

I lived on. At times, I didn't know what for or where life would take me, but I kept right on going. Now, I've found so many reasons to keep fighting, and those reasons came in the form of the people I love and the principles I upheld.

So at the ripe old shonen-protagonist-epilogue age of 35, here I am with a host of lifelong friends (who can be idiots sometimes), a wife who adores me as much as I adore her, two beautiful sons who will bear my name (and my cursed perm) plus another kid on the way, and lastly, a lifetime's supply of memories, lessons and experiences that a simple man like me was lucky enough to live through.

I, Sakata Gintoki, ex-samurai, occasional Yorozuya, husband, father, and friend, could not have asked for more.


End file.
